According to the New York Times, you’re looking at one of the earliest known recipes ever written down by man.

It’s for beer.

One of the contentions of the novel I’m currently writing is that humanity’s entire modern civilization owes everything to the discovery of beer, that mankind changed from hunter-gatherers to farmers, and then developed cities and society, specifically so that they could produce beer.  Beer to them was divine and the nectar of the Gods.  It got them buzzed, helped them forget about their worries, and got even the ugly guys laid.

Anyway, I stumbled upon this while doing research and thought I’d share it with you.  The picture links to the article from which I stole it .

For some odd reason I wondered, “What the heck is at Santa.com?” and I typed it in.

Low and behold, along side all the other holiday materialism, I found none other than Santa’s Blog.  I’m not kidding you.  Santa has a blog.

Well, why not?  Everyone else does.

Here’s a snippet of Christmas Eve’s entry:  “Hi Boys and Girls.  At last tonight is my Big Night.  Are you very excited?  Here in the North Pole we are listening to Christmas music all morning, sipping some hot chocolate, and getting ready for the most wonderful and exciting night of the year.”

Well, what did you expect?  It’s Santa’s blog.

At SantaClause.com you get a service where (and I do recall hearing about this a few years ago) you hand over some PayPal money and an address or phone number, and someone you choose gets a letter or phone call from Santa.

Santa.net features, what else, a very busy looking kid’s web site that among other things features a computerized Christmas wish list.

Santa.org features a generic link site.  (Shouldn’t that be illegal?  Especially on a .org domain?)  Other stupid link sites include SantaClause.net, SantaClause.us, and SantaClause.org.

Speaking of which, Christmas.com is also one of those horrid link sites.

Santa.us takes you to a online Christmas Catalog, aptly named Christmas-Catalog.com.  That is such a bargain basement bin URL that it’s pathetic and sad.

Santa.tv takes you to an access restricted video site that, for all I know, houses porn.

Santa.jp is 403 FORBIDDEN!

Someone actually owns GroovySanta.com, which is what I would have used, had I been evil.  Speaking of which, someone also has EvilSanta.com, but isn’t using it for anything.  It’s an Apache web server running on a Mac.

Last but not least, someone set up NorthPole.com, and it’s a virtual Santa’s Village in Adobe Flash form.  Don’t get excited, it’s rather lame.

So, leaving there, I wondered if Santa has a Facebook account.  Well, let me tell you, apparently every shopping mall Santa in the world has a Facebook account.  I didn’t even bother looking at MySpace.

Here is something I downloaded as a toy that, mainly because of a recent software version update, has become a truly handy little tool for fiction writing.  It’s a 99¢ program for the iPhone called “iStopWritersBlock.”  {website}  {iTunes}

Created initially to help writers with writer’s block, it features a database of myriad plot twists, writing challenges, and quotes designed to inspire you to write, all served up randomly at the touch of the screen.  Fun, I thought, but even though I bought it I never really used it.  I was saving it for those occasional bouts of writer’s block to see if it really works.

Today, however, a free update appeared which also includes handy tools for character generation:

Here is something extremely handy even if you don’t have writer’s block.  Random character traits, including names, descriptions, facts, personality, and my most favorite … quirks!

Please pay no attention to the typos

Obviously this isn’t for your main characters (I guess it could be, but I always know mine pretty well) but for the odd background character who only comes on the stage every once in a while, this is PERFECT.

Of course, programs like this have been around for a couple of decades now, but this one is always with me.  So if I’m sitting at Starbucks with a pen and paper, I still have the program.

Is it worth 99¢?  I think so.

Thank goodness for warm clothes, heaters, and modern society in general.

Having to stay inside a lot is forcing me to work on my novel. Made great progress this weekend.

Go muse!

– Post From My iPhone

There’s this little imp in my head who doesn’t want me to write.

Artists and scribes through the ages have celebrated the wonders of the Muses, those supernatural beings who bring us inspiration and cause us to create things that are clearly too brilliant to have come from us alone. But there’s a darker being that is never discussed, at least directly. And that is an imp that I have come to know as the Anti-Muse.

Last summer I had a window of opportunity to devote a large amount of time to my current novel, and I challenged myself to finally finishing the first draft. I could have done it. I know I could have – I’ve done marathon writing sessions in the past. But for some reason my Anti-Muse was particularly strong, so much so – and so obviously so – I started keeping track of all the things this Anti-Muse tried to do to sabotage my writing efforts.

Below, directly from my scribbled notes, is the internal dialog I had with this little demon. And so, writing along … or simply staring at the blank white page … these voices would pop into my head, followed by my conscious response.

“You’re hungry!” Clearly, I am not hungry. I’m not even thirsty. “Yes you are! You’re hungry!” No I am not.

“You’re sleepy!” Not really. “Yes you are. Why don’t you go take a nap?” No.

“You have to check email!” No, I don’t.

“You have to make a list of what I’m doing to sabotage you!” I seem to have given in to this one.

“You’re cold!” I put on a robe.

“You’re hot!” I take the robe back off. Now I’m cold again.

“You have to wash dishes!” There’s only two dishes in the sink and they can wait.

“You’re horny!” So what’s new? I’m always horny. I’m a guy.

“Waa! I don’t want to work on this! Let’s go take a walk – it’s beautiful outside.” No.

“You have to get up and go do something.” Like what? “I don’t know, but SOMETHING.” No.

“You deserve a break. Play Mine Sweeper.” No.

“Let’s surf the Internet!” [My response to that was to turn my cable modem off.]

“What the heck is that banging noise? Go to the window and check!” It’s not important.

“You need to stop and calculate how many words you must write per day in order to achieve your goal.” No, I do not, I just need to write the freaking words!

“Ha ha! I’ve made you write more on this list than you have so far on your manuscript!” Dammit.

“You need to go to garage sales and find a more comfortable desk chair. It would help your writing.” No, it would help my writing if you would LET ME FREAKING WRITE!

“You’re REALLY sleepy.” Damn, I am. Keep going through.

“You’re horny, thirsty, sleepy, hungry, and you need a shower! AND you need to wash dishes!” I give up. I’ll take a little break.

“You are SLEEPY!” Wow, I really am. To the point of it being useless sitting here fighting it.

[After the nap, the Anti-Muse wins again, guiding me to another light meal – after which I absent-mindedly surf the Internet for 45 minutes. Then after writing for only 15 minutes I’m sleepy again.]

“Hey, why don’t we watch YouTube?” Okay, whatever, let’s watch YouTube for an hour.

“You’re sleepy again.” True, I’ve only written for 15 minutes and now I’m falling asleep in front of the keyboard.

“You need to go kiss your girlfriend!” I agree with this one. I go give my girlfriend lots of kisses.

“You need to go take pictures of the sunset!” No.

“You really need to reorganize all ten million files in your ‘My Documents’ folder!” [I fell for this one before I realized what I was doing.]

“You must reorganize all your MP3 files.” Ugh.

It was after this that I realized keeping the list, in itself, had turned into a major distraction. But the Anti-Muse continued this campaign unabated for three straight weeks, and I did not reach my goal.

The first draft of the manuscript is still unfinished.

Is this just me? Or do you have an Anti-Muse too?

My eyes open to this, a sunrise usually only seen by the angels. Am I dreaming? How did I get here?

Strange to fall asleep before the airplane leaves the ground, to awaken in space, above the clouds, basking in predawn light.

I think morbidly to myself, if one dies before waking, do you stay in your dream?

Has that already happened? To me? To you?

Is this that dream?

Are we dreaming it?

Tags: Flying

I wish I could join all the industrious and fun NaNoWriMos this year.  I’d intended to sit in with at least a few of the write-ins around the area, perhaps to pound out a few thousand words on my own ongoing novel.

But alas, I just don’t have the time.

Here’s a shout out to them and their do-or-die spirit!  For you, here’s a line right out of most Adam Sandler films:  "You can do it!"

Resurrection completed!  (Thanks to iResq.com!)

I can no longer blame my iPhone for my lack of writing progress.

I accidently crushed it by running it over with my car.  It’s been over a week now, and I can firmly say that I haven’t been more productive without it.

Therefor I’m going to go ahead and have it repaired.